aunt came back from business trip last night.

a little disappointed, but expected that she didn't get me my gold watch.
but she did buy some hair accessories & baby clothing + hats
she gave me some of the accessories & i also took one of the baby hat xD
(sorry Zacky boy, i love u, but i love the hat too *smile*)
its amazing my big head can squeeze into it xDDD



me with the hat i thought i look like one of those crazy-stalker paparazzi who is doing a poor disguise to follow famous celebrities around, trying to get the juiciest gossips that will run their fame down xD


I DID WEAR IT!!!! SEE!!!!

Blogger is all screwed up!
wanted to continue posting ytd, but the usual upper bar of options all *POOF!* gone, w/o a trace!
stupid problem persisted until NOW then decided to return to me =.=

i wanna trade my sister for Minzy!!!

she is so cute!!!

Yesterday was my birthday and i started celebrating like on wednesday, thanks to Clifford.

So on the 15th Clifford, OJ treated me to a sushi buffet at Yishun's Sakae Sushi.
We had literately ate our heart out!
after around 7 plates of sushi EACH, w/o counting the other food like soba etc.,
crazy Clifford told OJ to order all the remaining side dishes that we have not try 0.o
OJ left early to go for training and so Clifford and i were left to eat *sweat*
and after like another 30 mins, we walked home with a solid tummy each, stretched till max by all the sushi we consumed.
Clifford was so full till he alighted 2 stops AFTER his original stop (dont ask me why not BEFORE his stop =.- he is just plain weird) so that he could hopefully walk some of those sushi off.
while i went home with a terrible stomache T.T
and also gained like 1+kg from sushi ALONE.

Around mid-night, i was rushing my mid-yr econ essays that Mrs Ho wanted us to redo when the wishes from my friends and kids came in.
The 1st and most unique was Dan.
he called and shocked the hell out of me, when my ringtone yelled in the still of the night.
it was super awkward cause we didnt know what to say and partly because i was still shocked.
but i was happy :)
then came messages from Clifford, 阿嘉, Ronald, YiBin, sotong Joyce, Misato, Ade, Yun Hui, Jian Wei gor gor, Su Hui, OGL Liu Mei, Liyi, Pamela, Yoke Hong, Mommy, Gary, Joyce He, Ann, Ting Xuan, Michelle 언니, Kathy, Zi Yan and Wei Hao, throughout the whole of Thursday.
Most of them are either from AI or kids from my current class with the exception of Wei Hao xD On the day to school, many more of my kids gave me well wishes ^^
and i loved Wei Shun's best! xD
He was so random and cute, shouting “大姐！生日快乐!" across the class xDDD
oh! and my pretty Qi Xuan made me a birthday card like what i requested/threatened xD
with an extra surprise, a PRESENT!!!
isn't my kid sweet~ ♥♥♥
i later found out that it was a deck of DBSK poker cards! ^^
its of a new design wor!!!

BUT birthday doesn't mean no misery =.-
we got back our g.p full set of ppr & econ ppr.
even though they are bad, but at least they were my better few subjects out of the 5, in term of score.

and it got WORSE!
OJ, ade and i were just crapping about wednesday's buffet.
OJ asked how the buffet went after he gone off and i just went on to say about how full we were etc.
and one thing led to the other and the other.
Ade said something and i laughed my ASS OFF!
and then the 3 of us laughed so hard till we realised that the subject of our little mindless joke was standing behind us 0.0
how did i know?
i saw the subject through the reflection by the library glass panels right at the same moment when OJ tell us!!!
Imagine my shock and reaction!
i walked in a rush to the front and eventually ran to the kids in front and hid my face in my hands and because this is so absurb that i laughed even more badly in guilt!!! =(
throughout the next 1hr at G.P tutorial, i was in so much guilt, i keep telling my members, namely Raymond, Amirah & JiaQi that i was a BIG SINNER an ULTRA BITCH!!! =((((

anyway, then we had civics where the school decided to be nicer to us by getting a decent group of musicians to perform on the various drums!
it was G.R.E.A.T!
totally love it!
especially the african drum, the small monitor-lizard skin one and this techno-synthesizer whistle thingy.

then 11 of us went to the foodcourt at AMK hub to eat & "celebrate" my birthday.
i had a kimchi stew cause i still got more eating-gathering later in the day.

i was ard 1/2 h late for the meeting with ying and jun =(( and reached at Yishun's Swensen at 3p.m
my lovely girls blanja me to a merri mint ice-cream and we shared a U.S hot dips & fries
(okay, so mainly it was me eating them xD)
i saw a colouring papers & colour pencils which jun pointed out and decided to go with my wish!
i took them to our seating booth and started colouring xP
jun&ying were like =.- and then xDDD and jun took photos of me colouring.
after a while, jun's friend francis came.
i think i shocked the wit out of him with my nuttiness xD
i gave him my drawing & said "keep it well, cause in the future it will be worth a lot of money! since i'll be rich and famous!" xDDD
and he was nice enough to trim the excess paprer border and kept it! so sweet!!!
oh ya! jun&ying bought me a present too!
which i later discovered was a plain ring with my name ^^
CUTE!

then came my late (again) meeting with the girls.
wan ting was late due to sch.
we ate and they took lots of camwhoring photos!
and we just made lots of noise!
sorry to customers who were looking for a quiet meal at BREEKS that day and staffs *bow*
we literately behaved like drunkards like that xD
they even sang me happy birthday in the middle of the street outside BOOTS&SHOES near the woodsland mrt station xD

then w/o a stop, after i reached home, i bathed and changed to go for...
HARRY POTTER and THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE
with xiao gu and her husband!!!
woohoo!!! ♥♥♥
and man was it a GREAT movie!!!!
the animations etc etc!
now i'm DYING for the next and last movie sereal to come out!!!
OMG!!!!
even if HARRY POTTER lose in the sense of a handsome cast, but it wins HANDS-DOWN for all the good actings etc etc!!!!
I LOVE HARRY POTTER SERIES!!!!
I LOVE THE PRODUCER!!!!
I LOVE THE WRITTER!!!
I LOVE THE PRODUCTION CREW!!!
I LOVE THE SCENERY!!!
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT & RELATED TO IT!!!!

WOOHOO~!!!! xDD
i'm a happy&fulfilled girl on my bday, thanks to everyone and everything~ ^^

Saw this ad on facebook with an interesting title and display pic, so i clicked it.
TheMaleBitch
and it makes me feel depressed T.T

Such a good-looking young man in Singapore!
but after viewing his pictures... i cant help but remember the saying
"Good man are either gay, married or dead"
dont ask me why.
it just popped into my mind.

just when i decided to be stronger, my depressing scores brought me my very 1st obstacle.
T.T
ah ma gave me trashing like what any parent/guardian in their right state of mind would have.
totally crap okay.
even if i use the papers to wipe my butt, its also too low-quality to be used at all!
that is EXACTLY how bad my scores are.
you can all count the total scores with your hands and toes =.-

uncle was trying to be nice to me today.
didnt give me the sarcasm again.
he was saying how some ppl just dont make the cut.
while some just do well in it.
and he is also one dude who will rather kill himself than to study again. (okay i exaggerated)
but he just simply H.A.T.E.S. studies.

conclusion: i think my ideals came from him =.-
the way he talked and gave examples were the same thing that i told ah ma.
uncle so-called "was on my side" (?) since he fashioned his arguments to give me hope.
its amazing how my uncle can understand how i feel when he tries to be nice.
and how utterly annoying when he is in one of his mood to irritate.
couldn't help but cried a little in self-pity.

even though uncle said that i'm still young with many possibilities, i still feel that time is literately leaking away from me.
i can feel it doing so, but like a leak, i cant tell where exactly it is nor can i stop it completely.
not unless i'm Chronos.

阿祺加油~！

I'M SOOO BORED!

soo bored till i'm actually looking forward to school =.-
this is bad for health.
like seriously!

that weirdo mei mei of mine got quarantined out of nowhere, so i cant go out and play with her till she is out next friday =.=
i really dont know who is more sad.
the one who is forced to be at home for 1 week
or
the me who have no one to go out with, for the next 1 week...
haix...
how untimely can that stupid fever of hers get T.T

黄嘉家!!! 快点康复阿!!!!
i'm going nuts soon...

internet is not as fun as it used to be ㅠ.ㅠ
i'm just flipping back and forth the same few pages.
facebook. forum. twitter. youtube. facebook. forum. twitter. youtube...
oh ya! also did check my e-mail once in a while...

i have got to put my life back together and make it worthy of the title "a life"!
cant just stand by and watch it go to waste anymore.
i dont want to grow old and think back about my youth as
"hmm... give me another 5mins... you know what? there is actually nothing fun AT ALL!!!"
LOLx =.=
that would be like SOOO sad.

first thing i'm going to do.
enter for my intermediate korean language course! ^^
it always bring a smile to my face without fail~ ♥

believe it or not, i was also once a pure&innocent girl who played girly things for fun.
okay, it sounds disgusting to the current me, but YEAH!
that WAS me.

Throughout Primary school, i never play with boys because i got a feeling that they just dont belong to my world, like i to theirs.
that's why i envied my ex-best friend Jo Jo who was artistic, fluent& pretty in the ways she did her things.
she was also popular with the boys, cause her grp was abt the only grp that was mixing with the guys in our class.
and at that time, being able to speak&apply English the way she did, to me was like "WOW~"
i was influenced by her greatly.
or rather, blown away by her abilities.
i worked hard to be like her in ways that i can.

e.g. i took her letters that she sent me before out and tried to imitate her handwriting, till i completely fooled one of my girl friend.

both of us loved drawing too.
there is always this girly competitions for clothing design that we had among the girls, and we would make a medal out of papers to award the best artist.
i worked hard trying to draw the best that i could, because i wanted to be best her at something.
but still i won a few rounds and lost a few to her.
then came a time when i sent her a picture i drew through a reply letter to her in the hols.
she&her mom liked it and said "may be you have become a better artist that i am already! ^^"
JUST by reading those words, i was REALLY happy.
Maybe that was the reason why i wanted to take up fashion design when Mr.Lee asked me what area of art did i want to take up for O'lvl...
but it was really sad that i chose to drop the subject for the sake of a better "L1R5"...
since my uncle did art before& ah ma said that art is so subjective that even though to us your uncle's work piece was brilliant, to the marker, it was only worth a C5 grade.

anyway, maybe i was the only one so deeply influenced by Jo Jo...
but she IS the starter of any type of fashion in our class!
she draws smiley faces, every girl draw smiley faces, while i drew a smiley star.
she draws smiley faces with a sticking tongue, everyone does it, but i drew a star with tongue.
she was the type of person i would give to become!

i also used to like to compose.
i would write little poems (which may sound cheesy now) on inspirational days.
e.g rainy days.
as long as those ideas stuck me.
and then i go on to perfect it with more adept words.

I was once helpless too, to peer pressure, greatly.
my bestie in kindergarten-cum-neighbour Ee Lyn was smart,pretty& just like a fair maiden.
i always loved her =)
however, her cousins who always come to visit were sort of the opposite.
rather, they were plain wacky!
one day, the eldest cousin wanted to play some barber game and wanted to cut my hair 0.0
i was horrified!
but then my bestie got hers cut too and was fine with it.
so i had a mental note that i have to do it to be the same, so i did it!
hell was it a big mistake. my hair was all long but that one chunk that was cut like left 3/4 the length.
but the good thing about me that i kept till now is that i was able to hold my tears till i went home and let it out.
ah ma said that i was stupid and should have said no, while brushing my hair.
oh well... what's done, is done.

and i was intolerant of vulgar words.
i never utter one AT ALL.
if i were to mistakenly utter one, out of ignorance of the meaning, i would punished myself.

and then the me NOW.
i forgotten about my love for drawing.
i havent drawn properly for years, not counting the times where i had to do it for the sake of handing in homeworks to Mr. Lee.
i havent drawn anything out of the love for it since Primary school.
and slowly, i'm forgetting that i once loved it so much that i admired so many artistic ppl around me.
People like Jo Jo, Mr. Lee, Michellem Xiu Feng, Pei Rong and Pei Xuan etc.
i always thought that they lived in a bright world where the grass are greener and the air is better.
so much so that, they literally shone, in my eyes.
my eyes would automatically seek them out, even when in a crowd.

i have also forgotten the me who was innocent&sweet before.
the me that the people in upper Primary to Secondary school onwards come to recognise as, is the Angry Gi Gi.
Always with a bad temper and scolds w/o hesitation if one commits a mistake.
Always with the authoritative voice, commanding people around.
from upper Secondary onwards, vulgar words start to string out of my mouth.
so much so that i was able to go on for 15mins w/o repeating the same vulgar word.
All these became norm to me...
the "bad" things...

i also forgotten most of my promises to my family.
like how i would go around and tell my ah gong that when he is old, i shall still help to massage his weary shoulders.
those kind of little cute things that the innocent me did.

and now, the only promise that i kept was that i will not have a boyfriend until University.
and that is partly because i take no interest in boys.
i see them as my playful siblings and nothing more.

ah...
all those good old me...
Like what Mr Yeo said, out of fun, "what has time done to you?"

therefore, on this very birthday, i'm going to make a wish.
i wish to reverese all these negative changes.
i wish to keep all my childhood loves&dreams alive.

no.
it will not be a wish that i will make afterall.

because i'm going to MAKE IT HAPPEN!
i will not wait no more.
i dont want to be all words and no actions, no more.
this is the least i could do and AM capable of doing.
so watch over me k?

The only reason i'm still in AJ is because this is Singapore.
you MUST have at least a decent (uni cert) qualification.
The only reason i'm still dragging my sorry ass over to school.
its because YOU! u like to to compare me with others!
and i mean you, ah ma!

"other ppl's son/daughter blah blah blah~"
"you see how well ur cousins are doing, why arent you?! blah blah blah~"
"i'm doing all these for you, in hope that u are going to do well in ur studies! blah blah blah~"
"if u dont want to study, then u go work and move out, into your parents'! they got an xtra room! blah blah blah"
"you are my only embarrassment, after successfully raising 3 children! blah blah blah"
"Even your auntie. her husband. ur uncle can do it, why cant u just do it?!!! blah blah blah"

B.L.A.H. B.L.A.H. B.L.A.H

u know what?
i dont freaking start to love math and decide that math is a better friend than a human since young, so i'm not like aunt they all!
i dont have a branded secondary/jc teacher as my parents, so i'm not like my cousins!
i'm born here, not by will but by ur own son's fault! that's why i'm like this, not like others!
when did i EVER said i didnt want to study?! i just dont want to study the norm!
u freaking think that i dont know my parents got a spare room in their freaking house?!
well, F.Y.I i inherited the worst genes from my parents, and that is ur SON and his WIFE! and F.Y.I.Again, ur son is only a sec 2 student, not even a graduate! call that successful?

when i told u i needed tuition
u said "others/ ur aunt they all also dont need when they studied!"
then reluctantly found me one that gave me ans that teachers in school does not accept well.
just a few weeks before promo.

when i was feeling down just 1 yr ago,
all u said were "how come u cant cope?! the others are doing well right?"

IF I REALLY WERE SOMEONE ELSE, THEN WHAT THE F WOULD I STILL FACE THESE?!
of course its because i'm still this useless me!

people envy my life, so i boasted w/o the bloops.
that made me happy.
made me feel like i had the world.
UNTIL i came back home and without fail, an annonymous force would turn that smile upside down.
i envy other people's life.
i especially envy those who got supportive family.

dont blame me for treating u like shit.
even though u are old.
u complained that "u have to look at mood and work with it"
"everyone said i have a bad temper"
"everyone is increasingly hating u"
so what?
uncle hates me now, but a part of me is him!
the irritating part that picks on others. the sacarsm. the looking-down.
aunt hates me now, but a part of me is her!
the arrogant attitude. the fiery temper. the rudeness.

havent u ever heard of 近墨者黑，近住者赤?
it just so happen that i can only see these sides of them.
that's why i'm influenced this way.
i know that aunt is smart, because u boasted about her to me, as well as she boasted herself to me.
i know that uncle is successful because i heard u guys said so.
but the only reason why i like uncle is because i like his artistic mind, which is so mind-opening.
which is totally different from what u all are talking about.

신 스킹이 너무너무 좋아해요~ ♥
예뻐 죠? ㅋㅋㅋ
신 스킹 때문에 기분이 점점 더 좋아요! ^^

*러브* *러브* *러브*

every time when its near the day, my mood for anything would disappear.
but when its still months before, i would be way too excited and preparing a santa-list long of presents that i want.
Which the paper would ultimately be rejoined with its long lost siblings in the recycling center during July, before the day.

Hence i'm not lying when i said i dont know what i want for present.
i envy those who had a blast during their birthdays, but i'm not expecting much from my own.
what i would like, people dont know.
and its almost impossible for ppl like me to be telling others T.T
cause what is the point when its just your instructions?
that defeats the purpose of having a birthday celebration to me.

but right now, i noe i want one thing.
Let my classmates NOT know/remember when my birthday is.
Although i know i would feel sorry for myself later on, but still let them not know.
i dont like the idea of ppl feeling uncomfortable when they realised its other's birthday and they got nth prepared.
i know that feeling sucks.
i experienced it too many time with my lack of a memory =.-

suddenly i got a weird thought...

if Gods were also once human, then it means that we make them!
therefore, i shall be God!
i want to be God!
i shall be the God that brings about smiles and happiness to ppl i love =)

and while being on that, i need a fancy name to go with my new status too!
hmmm... maybe something elegant, like the Greek Gods' names....
hmmm...
currently, my name is coming with nothing but my own name T^T

How bout a simpler one, Gi Gi the God of Gags?
Abbreviation (since S'poreans like it so freaking much that almost everything has an abbreviation one way or the other) will be G4 xD

suddenly i see light to my mundane life.
dont ask me what it is, cause its just a feeling that i have now.
don't even noe if it will last long xP

anyway, ppl ard me seems to be suffering frm relationships problems...
one that is a pain in my butt since i was 1yrs old.
the other is my friend.
different scenarios, but the same category.
i'm really sorry that i didnt follow ur post and gave those stupid response like
"at least u know that u are better! " etc.
i didnt know that ur tagboard was spammed with so much tags...
i should have paid more attention instead of being stuck in my own "depression" mode.

and regarding the other one, although i know this sentence sucks to the core~
but I TOLD YOU!!! xDDD
maybe you seriously can be different from me, but know this.
my stand of relationship.
if u like the other party, you would not want to hide it.
instead u would want to brag about him/her, because he/she is so special to you and you are proud of it!
the reason why i didnt accept gary was because of that!
i dont feel that i like him enough to want to go against ah ma and the the rest of the family.
so i let it gom despite what the rest of my friends said.
and at that time i was even younger than you are right now.
think about it.
you cant just be focused on "maybe there will be no one out there to accept me for the way i am"
"beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"
and i'm a firm believer in that, despite how i tell everyone that i dont want any relationship.
but i still believe in love.
just that i know there are no one out there yet that will be The One.